I lost my virginity!

OK... I am lying! But that's the closest term that can describe what happened to me tonight!

Ever since I joined medical school, I made a secret pact with myself that I won't take private lessons. It was part ideological and part practical (lessons = waste of time).

Thank God, I am doing well in college and my grades are fine. But I decided to give a try at attending a private lesson in internal medicine. My glorious college doesn't offer good lectures and some professors don't attend, and those who attend, shouldn't! They are not born to be lecturers. Maybe they are superb doctors, but they can't teach!

Anyway, I decided it will be very foolish of me if I didn't take a lesson based on ideology alone, if the price was that I will be a less qualified doctor than my peers. Grades can go to hell, I want to be a good practitioner! So, I made the decision.

To start, I felt like something broke inside me! Seriously, it was like an idol that was breaking apart! It reminds me of the victory scene in Shadow of the Colossus when you kill a colossus and in turn, his idol is destroyed. I haven't taken a private lesson for 5 years... since I was in school!

Let's sum it up with that: the tutor was very good (and God damn the stupid policies that prevents a guy like him from explaining the whole internal medicine curriculum for us in college!). But the surroundings were abysmal. The entrance was surrounded by secondary school students. The center has everything from a cafeteria to a place where they sell pre-paid mobile phone cards! There was about 300 students in the lecture hall. The tutor arrived more than an hour late.

I really don't know if I can go on like this. The subject is tough, but taking a private lessons won't make it go away. The problem with me is that I am picky! If I am not 100% content with the person (and the surroundings) teaching me, then it will be useless. I am better off alone.

I will try another tutor and see.

Final piece of advice: If you are interested in medicine... don't study it here!