A friend told me that the movie was enjoyable but not to expect anything cerebral. But the truth there is nothing to enjoy in this movie. NOTHING... There is no story, at all. There is no climax, no characters, nothing is happening throughout the duration of the movie, even the music was bad. I think they started filming without the script, and when they did have a script, it was too late. Can you imagine 150 minutes with nothing happening in them, but they are full of crappy one-liners and explosions.
I gave this movie a score of 2/10. I originally was going to give it a solid ONE, but the CGI added another. The only thing worth watching in this movie is the CGI, and this could have been edited out of the movie, and made a solid 15-minute short movie.
And Megan Fox... She was hot in the first movie, really hot. But in this one, she is... Well, let's say that every time I saw her in the movie I wanted to laugh! The "wow" factor is gone, and the truth is now clear. This is a pretty doll who can't act. And even in this movie, she is neither pretty nor hot.
The biggest factor that destrtoyed this movie for me was the Egypt segment. Mr. Zahi Hawas, you should resign for allowing this crap to be filmed in Egypt. The should have filmed in Morrocco and made all the people there rich, I don't mind. But what I do mind is selling out. WTF was that? The Pyramids are ... I don't quite get it, in Egypt or in Jordan? In Giza or in Aqaba? I didn't know that there was a sea near the Pyramids! With deploy-able amphibious assault troop and tank carriers parked at sea waiting to intervene. I didn't know that aliens built the Pyramids. I didn't know that the Temple of Karnak is next to the Pyramids. I didn't know that Petra was within walking distance from the Great Pyramids. I didn't know that Egyptians live in Pharaonic ruins with obelisks and all. I didn't know that we still have camels and goats and that our streets are full of broken cars. I didn't know that there are generals in the Egyptian Army who actually are dwarfs. I didn't know Egypt had no army at all, and when there is a need we call brave Jordanian helicopter pilots that are no match for the transformers, but the Americans are. I didn't know that Americans are stupid...
Seriously, are Americans stupid? Do they really know nothing about basic geography and history? Do they really feel envious that since their nation has no history to speak of, then every major ancient wonder must have been built by aliens or robots or whatever, just because they refuse to believe that while their great grandparents were dancing around fire, there were actual humans building these wonders?!!!
Michael Bay should be stopped. He should stop making movies for good. I did enjoy some of his movies like The Rock, Armageddon and The Island. Hell, I even liked Pearl Harbor. And I somehow enjoyed the first Transformers.
This is to keep my promise! I gave the original Transformers a 6/10. The movie was a textbook example of what a Hollywood popcorn movie is. The low score is because the movie should have been called The 15-Years Old Virgin, because the movie is more about the trials of Sam Whitwikey to lost his virginity than actual Transformers, who we only see for a fraction of the length of the movie. The movie also thinks that there are no people living in Qatar (Qat-aaaaar, as they pronounce it in the movie) except a nomadic tribe that, surprise surprise, also lives in ancient ruins with only one working phone and some WWI-era rifles. Megatron is shown for minutes and Starscream didn't transform into a gun.
6/10 is what it gets.
So to conclude, if you want to watch an enjoyable B-movie, watch the first Transformers, if you want to torture yourself, watch the second. If you enjoy the second movie, then you either should have your head checked or you should stop watching movies for your own good.
2/10... And this is after being generous...
While not every movie can be The Dark Knight, but it's a proof that you can make a summer blockbuster that will satisfy those looking for explosions and those who think that movies are an art form. And this year's example was Star Trek.
